The last few weeks have been very sad for me as my relationship, one which am really proud of and happy about, is about to pack up. My last relationship ended after I caught my guy with another girl in his apartment when I visited without calling him first. I was heart broken.
Now am in a relationship with this cool guy and he loves me like mad and I really love him too. The problem now is sex. I gave my previous boyfriend whenever and wherever he wanted it but he still cheated on me so I decided to stop.
I'm sending you this message because I've seen a lot of stories on Olufamous.com and I've learnt a lot from them. My lovely boyfriend is now avoiding me because I'm saying no to sex. He said he would have accepted to wait if I was a virgin but that he didnt see any reason to wait.
My mind was already made up about not having sex again until the first night of my marriage. Please is there any other thing I can do to keep him? How do I know he wont hurt me once I start having sex with him?
Anyone with sound advice should please help me out. Thanks.
My mind was already made up about not having sex again until the first night of my marriage. Please is there any other thing I can do to keep him? How do I know he wont hurt me once I start having sex with him?
Anyone with sound advice should please help me out. Thanks.
Are you guys sure of marriage together? Any assurance that this guy will marry u at the end of the day? Get answers before opening your legs!!
ReplyDeleteDon't let the love of your life suffer because of your X's stupidity. We men can't survive without sex, so give it to him or risk loosing him.
Delete@anonymous 20:54 umen can't survive without sex? really? dts to say u dnt knw wht u wnt...u dnt have to open ur legs for a man dt is nt ur husband, nt to talk of a man u re nt even sure he will marry u...my dear since u ve corrected ur past actions by deciding nt to open ur legs for any man until after marriage, dt is very Ideal...if he loves then he shud wait, its nt easy to wait bt dts d ryt way to do things nd so God commanded...wish u God's grace!
Delete@Macosstelly, wedding/marriage doesn't still guarantee a happy home. Therefore, give SEX now or later still not an assurance that one would end up in a happy home. Now, let me ask you this; Which is harder...Divorce/Unhappy home after marriage or not going into an unhappy marriage, simply by finding out on time what your partner is upto.
DeleteI had the same experience, my wife denied me sex for seven months when we are dating although she a virgin, but i can do without sex, i sat her down and told her that if continue without sex i will be cheating on her, so she accepted, although with great fear of disappointment, bt i gave her my words, i discover that after sex she will be crying, i immediately arrange for our marriage, now we are happily married with two boys,pls be careful, look at what he want from you, if he want to marry you he would not go away, but would find a way out.
DeleteI support the guy.....since others hav eaten the thing he also should be allowed to enjoy it.... No wayo!
ReplyDeleteLARRY
Ode ni ds Larry o! Women have had premarital sex @ a time doesn't mean dey can't stop. Get born again!
DeleteSellfish larry
DeleteYou are very wicked. relationship is like an uncompleted building and when sex is included the building will be complete. though he may still taste the water and run away no doubt. but you are not a virgin and the mistake has already been done. No man can date any girl without sex except the girl is a virgin
ReplyDeleteDarling plenty money , pls give ir life 2 Christ
Delete@ plenty money, you need to accept Christ and desist from evil thoughts and deadly advice, otherwise you'll be caught up in your iniquity.
Deletelet him go to hell, dont open ur legs again until he marries u.........dodo
ReplyDeleteNo body will ever buy a pair of shoes without trying them on.If you want to keep this guy,you must open your leg quick or u will lose him very soon and try to suck his dick very well so that he can fall in love and fix a date 4 ur marriage.This is how I got my husband hooked and we have been married 4 10 years now with six kids and he's very happy.
ReplyDeleteTrue talk.That's how I got my husband 2 and have been married for six year with 4 kids
DeleteSo basically both of you were married by these men 'cos of your blowjob and waist whinning skills? Hahahaha, be sure the next woman that can blow and whine better will take them. Smh, how can anyone think the bedroom skills are all they need??? What century are you people from again? Its people like you that stay in bad marriages and moan and complain abt your finances and domestic violence.I thought marriage was about love,companionship,sex,friendship,faith and understanding? But both of you think its all about the meal between your legs. When your husbands leave you for more skillfull young beautiful women please come and share the story with us on olufamous and please shut it with your daft advice. Save it for your unfortunate daughters.
DeleteTosin Smith,You must be a guy bastard bicos I have not seen any striaght guy who does not like blow job.My husband is very happy with our sex life and he's not floating around.May God have mercy in your soul when you get to hell fire.
DeleteTrue talk.Tosin Smith is a bastard gay.God have reserved a corner 4 him in hell fire.
DeleteLol awon ode meji. I be gay since na una husbands dey fuck my yansh so. Idiots.
DeleteI will give a mean ass BJ and whine for my man but that won't be the reason he will be proud to call me wife. Two sluts trying to justify their use of pussy. Idiots
Hahaha....My husband will never get close to ur smelling ass.He hate bastards guy like you.He may knock you down if he see you in d street.Good luck to you with your gay life.Oloshi buruku.
DeleteIwo ati oponu to peh ni oko ni oloshi ati oloriburuku. Retarded deluded fuck of a woman. Are you too stupid to know I'm female from my comment? I don't fuck peasants and you and your oponu come and fuck of a husband are peasants. So STFU and educate yourself. There's more to marriage than using your smelly pie hole on his dick and throwing your smelling obo in his face every minute. What do you both have to do or talk about when not fucking??? Let me guess you come online and type shit while he sends texts and bbm to his side dishes in universities? Oponu aiyeraye.
DeleteTosin Smith,You are a retarded bastard bicos you do not know wether u are a woman or a man.God have saved u a corner in hell fire.Fucking gay bastard.
DeleteToyin Smith, y are u answering two or one lowlife piece of trash. How can u marry your man bcos of blowjob and sex, he will surely leave you tomorrow bcos of those things even of its take 30yrs! The funny thing is that once they hear the truth they are quick to call u names! Both anon calling some1 a fucking gay bastard I believe your vagina has more users than facebook! Na wah o! Btw: I know u will quick to call me toyin smith but I remain my true self LINDA
DeleteTosin Smith Alias Linda,You are an idiot gay bastard.No need wasting my precious time on u.Ajokuta mamomi.
DeleteAnon14:07 I know u are adetokunbo bcos u are quick to call somebody that u don't even know a gay! Am sure one day you will call your father gay! I wonder if u can taste the bullshit as it spill out of your mouth mumu am sure your mama na bawd idiot
DeleteTosin Smith Alias Linda,U should blame ur ashowo mother for having u instead of abortion bicos d world could have been a better place without gay bastard like you.No wonder ur father dumped ur mother after ur birth.
DeleteAnon19:38 this "your mama" insult is old and over used like your mother! Stupid airhead your gay insult is stale learn another one or just stfu ode oshi
DeleteTosin Smith,You need Jesus in life to change your gay life style.Good luck.
DeleteWait till the knot is tied.Talk to him and assure him of your faithfulness.Bitagi
ReplyDeleteYou have a right to do what you want with your body but you do not have a right to determine the consequences, if your boyfriend wants to end the relationship because you have refused to sleep with him, let him go,he will only use and exploit you if sex has become an issue, quit the boyfriend,God would provide a better one, there is alot more to a woman than cleavage and her lower body /virgina, you are precious and valuable before God don't let one idiot devalue your body.
ReplyDeleteUr comment shows u r gold indeed! God bless u
Deletei subscribe fully to ur comment dear, sex shudn't be d ultimate in a relatnship...wen it becomes an issue then she shud let him go, a better persn will come arnd...
DeleteMacosstelly
hmm. Think twice before acting
ReplyDeleteCarry ur yeye toto commot for him hoouse make him find better yansh to fuck abeg!
ReplyDeleteMy dear,dia is notin forbiden dia again since oda guyz hv browsed tru it,so if u really lov d guy,open d pussy let him fuck,odawise,plenty gals ar out dia waitin 4 dat guy's dick inside dem.Jim
ReplyDeleteI don't know what to tell you baby, except to say the guy might think somebody else is chopping the Congo. The guy might also be afraid that an unplanned visit to some other admirer of yours, may result in an unplanned chopping of the Congo and your love for him will transfer even quicker than that of passenger form mole to BRT bus. He will then feel he has wasted his time trying to respect your wishes. You know, people around here don't keep their promises. What assurance does your new guy have that you won't leave him for another guy because he too is not perfect and could make the same or worse mistake or error as the first guy. Baby, go back to your first guy who we may assume, was responsible for your dis-virgin. Tell him you really love him and you don't plan to share him with another woman. He may not be entirely faithful after that, because old habits are difficult to break, but he will be more discrete and respectful of your relationship. You would have sown the seed of faithful necessity in his heart. As you continue steadfast in prayer for him and both of you, God will someday suddenly answer your prayers and regenerate his heart. His eyes will be open to the foolishness of his promiscuous actions and he will just stop.
ReplyDeleteWhere is KALU? Say something to dis :)
ReplyDeleteI wonder aloud too
DeleteWell is up to you, if you want to give or not, it makes no difference these days, there are no rules to these things. A guy might sleep with you, even on the first day and decide to marry you some might call u cheap, some might eat and run some might not sleep with you and yet still leave. Sleep or no sleep if are guy wants you, he would marry you regardless, so do. What you feel. I have one advice for ladies, when you are in a relationship, just be happy and enjoy yourself don't try to compel or condition a man, saying e must marry you, just go with the flow and you would see them getting serious, besides not all relationship must lead to marriage.
ReplyDeleteTotally agree with u. Ladies go with d flow & enjoy it while it last. If it leads to marriage so be it.
DeleteThe fact u're not a virgin has shown ur man that u're cheap and sleeps with any man that comes ur way..... So why must his own be different? He wants his own share of the sex bcos he knows he cant trust u like many other ladies cant be trusted.... Kalu
ReplyDeleteThis is not Kalu, Kalu can't speak all this English��
DeleteU dey craze guy. How many english can u even speak???
DeleteDefinitely dis is not Kalu! He doesn't reply back or u don chop lion liver?
Delete@Good Kindi: I have gone through people's comment and at thesame time thinking of getting kanu to comment on this but unfortunately kanu wasn't seen here.
ReplyDeleteYou know what kanu can say about this. I know him too.
Very laughable in his comment.
For me that girl is a fool and a full blown prostitute.
She has met many disappointments after being used and dumped and she is afraid of being dumped if her man taste her decayed toto which many guys have deserted .
My advice to the guy is to forget the Harlot even if she succumbs.
Joe
Joe na lie Kalu no fit speak all this English kalu sentence no dey pass 1
DeleteHmmmm sad indeed,I will advice u to pray and ask God 4 help and also seek 4 go advise,God will help u.
ReplyDeleteUncle Olu ewo tun ni FORBIDDING??? I thought it was FORBIDDEN???
ReplyDeleteOkay back to the lady that asked for advice.its your body and as much as sex might be considered important for some or let's say most in a relationship (notice I didn't say marriage), the decision is yours because its your body and if this guy was as cool as you described and he truly loves you he will concentrate on all your other great qualities which I'm pretty certain you have else he won't be with you. If he truly wants you as much and loves you as much as he claims he should commit to be being with you and marry you. Then he can have your body all day and night and I'm pretty sure you will be more than happy to give it to him. If that's not going to happen I will simply advice you move on and you will meet a good man who won't make sex a priority. Goodluck to you.
ReplyDeleteWell said Tosin, very well said. On the other hand, the naive, myopic manner in which some uncouth people have expressed themselves here is appalling to say the least. Indeed a lot of Nigerians are in desperate need of reorientation. I'd leave it at that.
DeleteA fine example are those two up there who assume I'm gay (and a man) since I say opening your legs and oral sex makes a marriage not. Sad really to think they might female children and will dish this same advice to them.
DeleteDon't get me started on the chauvinistic men either.
Well M̶̲̥̅γ sister †ђat is guy 4
ReplyDeleteŸ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u,†ђξ true of̶̲̥̅̊ †ђξ matter is its SEX,he lend nt †̥ø marry
Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u,so lεɑ̤̥̈̊§ξ don't oper U̶̲̥̅̊я leg again,U̶̲̥̅̊я own man w come,becos if
Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u cont giving him †ђat SEX,one ϑάў w come he w tell
Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u †ђat he is nt doing again,Α̲̅nϑ by †ђat time
Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u w nt N̶̲̥̅̊☺ ђã†̥ †̥ø do,so lεɑ̤̥̈̊§ξ M̶̲̥̅γ sister do ђã†̥
Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u H̲̣̣̣̥ɑ̤̥̈̊VЄ i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ mind,Ɠ♡D we help
Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u,amaka
you better open ur legs before is too late, he will love u,but if u think other wise it left to you. Be wise,life is all abt wisdom
ReplyDeleteWell my sis,I feel ur pain as well cos once we start hvin sex wit all d boyfrd we hv, which one go remain 4 hubby 2 do? bur u see d issue of marriage is not sometin one can predict. Just do wot u think is right and leave d rest 2 God(am not saying dat u shld open ur legs o)and I pray God guide u.
ReplyDeleteI've to make love to you bfor I finally fall for you becus that is how I will know how sweet you re and can have it thinking every mins
ReplyDeleteMy daughter if sinners entice you, consent not! Sex is not a parameter of true love...true love waits!
ReplyDeleteC'est Fini
DeleteRemember your body of God almighty!! Do the right thing by giving urself a full respect and high self esteem. My dear sex is not love ur dignity is the most important thing.
ReplyDeleteWhen u let man go hungry for too long, everything around him would look edible including ur friends n sisters. So if u don't want to see ur man on top of another woman, give him that thing that would lead him into another woman's hands.
Deletehemmmm.......this man and woman thing,is only God that have the answer.baby follow ur heart.but for men.i don.t blame una,that una yeye thing that have enter all the whole woman thing,that no woman suppose to near.who is as useless as man.men,una nede shame with that una thing wel go long cut one day.i den blame God and our parents that make woman ward be like dis,if not who be man,if God go make the other way,i go show men many things,useless men.
ReplyDeleteDearly beloved, does the fact that you get more answer or side to those asking you to go for what you yourself know that is wrong does not mean it is right. please forget d fact that he will back out of the relationship, a guy who truly love and cherish you will not want to do anything to hurt you, and come to think of it, after you allow him in and at the end of the day he refused to marry you that means the sex history continues making two, and will you go ahead and tell your next would be hubby that 2 pple had, had sex wt you and how do you want him to regard you? so dear, please let it wait. i had almost d same experience wt you and i tell you i didn't give in, today he will always be the sone to ring it to my ears that sex is afta marriage. Sweetheart, please think twice, if he want to go, let him go, TRUE LOVE DOES NOT HURT THE OTHER'S FEELING AND TRUE LOVE WAITS
ReplyDeletewell said debby...
DeleteFOOOOOOOOOOOOLS.all who advised u to open ur legs are FOOLS and they want u to have the regrets they have by opening their legs and the men are only self centred.if u r wise u shld have by now known that sex is not the true test of love if he loves u and he wants the sex then he shld arrange for ur wedding faster.now that u have refused he would be discouraged and want to have it else where and that alone shows that if u give it to him he will definately run.my candid advise is that u wait for ur own man cos if he really loves u for marriage its not sex that would be paramont on his mind its how to improve u and give u ur dignity as a woman.any man that wants sex seriously before marriage is not a man and is not ready for marriage.those that said they gave before and they r married would be shocked to discover that thier man is still taking outside cos since they gave him before marriage they will also give other men shld oppurtunity avails it self.be wise and keep ur dignity and self respect.if u av made mistake before doesnt meant u shld continue to make same mistake just take my advise and correct the mistakes.God give u wisdom.
ReplyDeleteGBAM!
DeleteGod will give u wisdom on how to handle this,but dont yeild to sin becos the trend will continue and u will forever regret it.
ReplyDeleteI still repeat, there are no hard and fast rules to all these sex, love, relationship thing. Its a good thing to keep yourself but at the same time I don't condemn people that have pre-marital sex, that does not make them bad. People have waited till marriage and received the shock of their lives, there are so many reasons people don't wait these days, the fact of the matter is that, giving or not giving in, depends on so many factors, like the man's orientation. Is he the type that would see you cheap and treat you bad after the sex? most times its how the man treats you as a lady after the sex(even if he doesn't marry you)that makes it regrettable. Secondly,you as a person,ask yourself, what do you want? How do you actually feel about it, its not us that would tell you. If you are happy to do it, fine, if you are not happy to do it, then don't. Moreover, once you have become sexually active, especially when you are older, it is difficult not to have sex when you are in a relationship especially for men, another fact is, when you hold too strongly to a man,and start giving conditions, it doesn't really work. Just be happy, be with who makes you happy, do what makes you happy, don't give the must marry you attitude. Have friends, deliberately miss his call sometimes, deliberately disappoint him sometimes,don't stress too much, you would see, he would be the one asking you when are you guys going to get married, not you.
ReplyDeletenice
Deletemy dear am a lady like u am not a virgina but i told myself dat i wont have sex again notuntill am married and itold the present man dat we will not have sex now untill our wedding nite he didnt like it but he accepted it wit tym we play and we do all sort but not sex so i will advice u to do same and 4get abt sex untill u are married if he cant love u 4 who u are then let him go he is not worth ur love
ReplyDelete@Anon 22 October 2021 19.25, I politely ask you this question, what is really the difference between sex(actual intercourse/ penetration) and play or foul play, or oral? Is it not the same thing, is it not the same sin in the sight of God? Meanwhile, as adults, I don't think you need to insult others while expressing your views. People are from different background, society, religion,culture, etc, so it is expected that people would have different views, so please we don't need to insult each other.
ReplyDeleteOn are very serious note,I'm wondering about the caption for this piece, what is forbidden about the fruit when the young lady has already done it before? Also, people like to give holier than thou attitude when expressing views about sex and relationship. How many ladies Screaming God, God, God,and preaching, can confidently boast that they married as virgins or that they did not sleep with more than one man? Our God is only just merciful.
Look we have to face the truth, for people that are already sexually active, in a relationship, sex and friendship must go together, you can't do without the other, even in Marriage, otherwise, there would be problem. That is why many of the Churches these days are focusing on educating married couples about sex, its an area where, when there is a problem about it between couples, even the Pastor himself cannot settle them.
Roseline.
stevie...when we talk about love...both parties respect their opinions...if he really needs you,he wiil neva force you against your will ....am a guy and do not mind all those askin u to let him in bcos none of them will never advise their daughter n blood sister such...it is when u feel like havin him inside u dat u can allow him so dat u will not regret if at all he break up wt u later...love is not sellfish!!!
ReplyDeletemy dear,
ReplyDeletemy husband was well aware i wasn't a virgin when we started dating but when i told him there will be no sex b4 marriage, he had no problem with it.
If a man wants to really be with u, sex can never be a barrier dont mind all these playboys giving u foolish advise. Please keep urself, the man for you is on his way and u will not regret your decision I promise you. Your expectation shall not be cut off in Jesus name. Dee
I knw the problem of women: time, so many people here hav been advicing u to wait for the right man, hav de border to ask u ur age? D ans is NO. A woman at 32 to 35yr is already old to get married. Dat's why de are so desperate to get a man. My dear my advice is do what ur heart tell u period.
ReplyDeleteGabriel aka
Pls my dear try to help that young man out marriage is from God if he said you people will be one in his name no man will put asunder.
ReplyDeleteGod will help you, just pray unto him
ReplyDelete