I Married Mother and Daughter -- Man Cries Out

The sad reality of mother-in-laws' "unnecessary" interference in the marriage of their children came to the fore recently in Lagos:

"My mother-in-law has been staying with us for the past eight years, you will know what I would have gone through in that house. Mama controls all the activities in the house. She tells my wife what to do, she gives instructions in the house as if she owns the house. 

"Some times in the night, I will wait for my wife to join me on the bed till around 12 midnight and if I don’t see her, I will sleep off.

"The next day if I ask her what she was doing in the sitting room that kept her so long, she simply would tell me that she was in a meeting with her mother.

”I know I married two women, mother and daughter. How will I be happy with the happenings in my home? I ventured into some business but my wife and mother ruined it.... The first four years of my marriage was sweet, but trouble began when my second wife came (my mother-in-law), started living in my house.”

These were the submission of 52-year-old Mr Donatus Itianu while responding to the divorce suit filed against him at a Grade 'A' Customary Court sitting in Agege, Lagos, by his wife, Mrs Florence. 

The man told the court that he would only be responsible if his mother-in-law left the house for them.

His wife, Florence had pleaded with the court to dissolve their 12-year-old marriage over lack of care. The 48-year-old woman told the court that her marriage had never been peaceful. “I have been managing the marriage. I have been smiling outside and shedding secret tears, all because I don’t want to leave my husband because of my children,” she claimed.

According to the wife: “Since the inception of the marriage, I have been the head of the home because my husband is so stingy and won’t part with any money unless it is stolen from him. I have been responsible for the house rent, feeding, children school fees and other expenses in the house."

Florence urged the court to dissolve the marriage and grant her custody of the children, saying any attempt at reconciliation won't work.

But Donatus denied the allegations. He told the court that his mother-in-law had been the source of the crisis in his home. "I am a gentle man, I love my wife and kids, but my problem is my mother-in-law who controls my home,” he insisted.

In its ruling, the court asked the husband to improve his relationship with his wife and see if the situation will change. The wife was asked to bring her mother at the adjourned date, January 29, 2013, for further hearing of the case.