I got a job early last year which earns me 75k per month and I have responsibilities too as I’m currently undergoing my masters program and I’m sponsoring myself through school and I still assist at home sometimes.
My fiancé just got a job early this year and his pay is 55k. I just found out that I am one month pregnant and I’m not thinking of abortion at all. The problem is; we don’t have up to N200,000 in savings but we were planning on working on making up to 400k between now and two months time to carry out a low key traditional and court wedding only.
I will feel terrible moving around with a big tummy and no sign of wedlock; at work, church, anywhere I go... I don’t like the idea and so does my fiancé. We can’t afford a church wedding now as it will be too costly considering the time frame.
My mum has said that none of her kids will marry without doing a church wedding as it makes d marriage look incomplete, though I haven't told her about the pregnancy yet.
Is it really true that if one weds without doing church wedding it doesn't make it complete? Though am a Christian but how important is really a church wedding?
I will feel terrible moving around with a big tummy and no sign of wedlock; at work, church, anywhere I go... I don’t like the idea and so does my fiancé. We can’t afford a church wedding now as it will be too costly considering the time frame.
My mum has said that none of her kids will marry without doing a church wedding as it makes d marriage look incomplete, though I haven't told her about the pregnancy yet.
Is it really true that if one weds without doing church wedding it doesn't make it complete? Though am a Christian but how important is really a church wedding?
But can we just tell all these ladies to stop sleeping around like dogs, just like Shan George said? What if d guy said he's not doing again? U will now tell another man to forgive u that it's mistake abi? I tire for women... Kalu
ReplyDeleteKalu, I have been reading your comments on this site and they always reflect a man without brains. What has this lady said to warrant you saying ladies sleep around? Why not try reading and not commenting? Your brains sounds really empty and you are obviously not educated
DeleteAbsolutely. I tink dat kalu is verrrry sick. Y nt just f****k shut up. If u dont knw wat to say. Palm wine tapper.
DeleteI support your motions. Abeg Kalu, stop commenting.
DeleteMaybe you should open up to your parents and pastor, perhaps they will forgive you and sponsor the wedding, because you have disgraced them.
ReplyDeleteWhy dont u thank God and stop complaining lucky you found a man who ready to stay with u.For ur mother is either she go @ sit down or she bring money to fund d weding,pls learn to Thank God.TONY
ReplyDeleteofcouse open up to them so that they can find way out of no way
ReplyDeleteact it b/4 it push out
kalu u're always a fool why.u don't have sometin on ur hear.
ReplyDeletePlanning is d key! Don't u know how to use condoms or contraceptive? Shame on u lady!
ReplyDeleteMadam it is wrong for u to get pregnant if u know u cant carry the big tummy about outside wedlock, afterall you are not a baby. But the solution is between your parents and his. You guys should do a low key wedding. OI
ReplyDeleteThe two commentators above are playing the holier-than-thou attitude....Except they are virgins otherwise their comments are useless and malicious.
ReplyDelete@POSTER:It all depends on you!I have never seen Church wedding as compulsory even though some churches and Pastors make it look so.
you need to ask for forgiveness and also meet your pastor they will tell you how you can work it out.
ReplyDeleteKalu am very sure u're a drop-out, ur comment on dis issue is not relevant at all! Why not go back to kindergarten? Olodo! My dear sister,truly what u did is bad but d best thing now is to tell ur parents abt it b4 it's out of control! Premarital sex is a grievious sin b4 God!
ReplyDeleteWhenever pple say what is true u will see others coming up to cal them holier than thou. We av so legalised sex outside marriage nd we make it look like those who a not doing it are really d sinner na wah o. @ poster, let d man pay ur dowry and be living togeda what else a u looking for after all u don get belle
ReplyDeleteno be bye force man can raise prick wey e don die
ReplyDeleteHello madam, you shouldn’t have involved yourself in premarital sex (FORNICATION), it is a great sin in the sight of God, because bible says your body is the temple of God, you shouldn’t have defiled your body before your wedding.
ReplyDeleteOur God is merciful; is a God of second chance. The most important thing is for you to go to God in prayer and ask Him for the forgiveness of your sin and promise Him never to involve yourself in this dirty attitude any more (fornication or adultery).
Abortion is not the right step please don’t do it. If you abort the baby by trying to cover your sin before your pastor and your parents or your church members, it will not help you but it will lead you to commit another sin MUDER. It is better for people to mock you than for God to judgment you. You and your partner should go to God in prayer and ask for the forgiveness of your sin.
True marriage is consent of both parents and receiving of their blessing. Court or Church wedding is good my sister but the most important part of marriage is the support of your parents, which is what God require from us not Church or Court Celebration!!!! If you have the money is good, but if you don’t have the money to do church or court wedding please don’t worry yourself; just do what God required from us.
If I may ask, how do you know that all church or court wedding acceptable before God? What if the pastors that wanted to join you and partner together is swimming the pool of sin, do you think God will accept it?
Bible says, you shall know the truth and truth shall set you free. Go ahead with what you have and do your wedding. PLEASE, both PARENTS must involve.
I don’t support fornication, adultery and abortion. When man made mistake, the next thing is to find the solution not to condemn.
In the gospel of John 8: They brought a woman to Jesus and said “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery and Moses commanded us to stone such women but Jesus said “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”
Thank you.
what disgrace? she is 30 for God sake,my dear try and put hand together with ur guy and save for the traditional wedding!!!!!!Gbam
ReplyDeleteHello madam, you shouldn’t have involved yourself in premarital sex (FORNICATION), it is a great sin in the sight of God, because bible says your body is the temple of God, you shouldn’t have defiled your body before your wedding.
ReplyDeleteOur God is merciful; is a God of second chance. The most important thing is for you to go to God in prayer and ask Him for the forgiveness of your sin and promise Him never to involve yourself in this dirty attitude any more (fornication or adultery).
Abortion is not the right step please don’t do it. If you abort the baby by trying to cover your sin before your pastor and your parents or your church members, it will not help you but it will lead you to commit another sin MUDER. It is better for people to mock you than for God to judgment you. You and your partner should go to God in prayer and ask for the forgiveness of your sin.
True marriage is consent of both parents and receiving of their blessing. Court or Church wedding is good my sister but the most important part of marriage is the support of your parents, which is what God require from us not Church or Court Celebration!!!! If you have the money is good, but if you don’t have the money to do church or court wedding please don’t worry yourself; just do what God required from us.
If I may ask, how do you know that all church or court wedding acceptable before God? What if the pastors that wanted to join you and partner together is swimming the pool of sin, do you think God will accept it?
Bible says, you shall know the truth and truth shall set you free. Go ahead with what you have and do your wedding. PLEASE, both PARENTS must involve.
I don’t support fornication, adultery and abortion. When man made mistake, the next thing is to find the solution not to condemn.
In the gospel of John 8: They brought a woman to Jesus and said “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery and Moses commanded us to stone such women but Jesus said “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”
Thank you.
With 400k u can have a very lowkey wedding, just invite few pple dats all.
ReplyDeleteIs it a must for her to get married in a church,y can't her just go $ enjoy her life wit her guy.......do somtin gud wit d money instead of wasting it on marriage xpensis
ReplyDeleteat you are not taking the issue of marriage serious in your life.I can see that you prefere education and other frivolous things to marriage relationship that can make your life and God's counsel to come to pass in your life. You and your guy earn 130k every month and you are not gratefully commited to your marriage, it is unspeakable. There are people who dont even earn half of your salary, yet they pool their resources together to fulfil all righteousness as per marriage. By the way, must you go to church for white wedding? The most important is the payment of bride price and the blessing of men of God, which they can shower on you at the venue of the traditional engagemrnt. summarily, IT IS OBVIOUS THAT TWO OF YOU DO NOT TAKE MARRIAGE SERIOUS, THAT IS WHY YOU CAN GET 130K EVERY MONTH AND YET GET PREGNANT WITHOUT WEDDING.
ReplyDeleteSUNNY
U see dat is d problem with Nigerians! Instead of attacking d subject matter they will start critising other commenttators.
ReplyDeleteAnd dats why nothing gets done in that country becos ppl r busy bickering among themselves instead of figuring out solutions to problems! D fool that called other commentators holier than thou had not even d slighetest suggestion or idea on how to help this lady! What a shame!
In answer 2 ur question, church weding is important but not 4 u. Even if u are able 2 raise d money 2 do ur weding be4 d thing comes out now, people might not kw but my sister God kws. Lastly 4 ur advice God doesn't ask u 2 go bankrupcy be4 accepting or blessing ur mariage, cut ur cloth acording 2 d available materials. God forgive and be with u,amen.
ReplyDeleteDs kalu of a guy must surely be a drop out, he has obviously nothn reasonable in hs head. Must u always talk wen ppl dat has sense dan u talks? And wen it comes to issues dat concerns d country now, u wont talk, but wen it comes to women matter, u'll be d first to put ur dirty stinking mouth. Dumbskull.
ReplyDeleteIt may be a bit difficult to have a church wedding because most churches won't wed you if you are pregnant already (and remember they conduct pregnancy tests on brides now) so I will advise that you just have a traditional wedding (the family introduction and engagement ceremonies), a registry wedding (court wedding- it makes it legal) and have a thanksgiving ceremony in your church the Sunday after the court marriage. You can then invite people to a small party in your house after the thanksgiving. That way believe me, 400,000 will be a lot of money and you will still get the blessings you want from your pastors.
ReplyDeleteKalu or what is your name u are very senseless why not read what the woman said before u write your comment.I can see u are not educated
ReplyDeleteTo the holier-than-thou peeps;I see u O!Ekabo!Welcome to ur playground!KMT
ReplyDeleteTo d lady asking for advice;I think u shld educate your mom well just so she knows that whether u do a church wedding or not,it doesn't in any way improve d standard of living of your future family!Payment of your bride price and a registry wedding are the most important.if ur mom really wants d presence of a pastor,then u can do "church blessing."Just do a lil church service with close relatives and friends with no after party/reception!
Goodluck with everything!
It is right that you let your mother know about this. She is more experienced than you are and will advice you better. The guy in question should do the same equally. Because from the look of events, it is about cropping out of you guys hands, So you couples need a second opinion from your parents. FRANK
ReplyDeleteWhy some people dey preach pre marital sex like sey dem no dey fuck? Mchewwwwwwwwwww. Mek d babe and her guy go do traditional marriage after all nai bible recognize as marriage..
ReplyDeletepls lady tell ur spouse to come n see ur parents n plan for the tradditional marriage n leave wedding outside for now.never u tamper with that baby in ur womb cus u dnt no if another one will come after this.
ReplyDelete