I used to be a happily married woman. But many things have changed. My husband is no longer the man I got married to with so much joy, laughter and dancing.
We have been married for 10yrs now, during which I stopped going out and cut off my friends. All I do is work, clean, children, shop and sleep. In this 10yrs, my husband has lived like a bachelor.
At first, I fought him for this becos I wanted attention and to be loved but with time I withdrew emotionally and this got to the bedroom.
Things got so bad that I feel like crying whenever he wants to have sex with me because it would be brutal, as if it's a blue film. We dont do it often, but whenever he wants it, the thought of having sex with him was very irritating.
However, irrespective of my feelings, for peace sake, I'd do it sometimes half drunk. Despite my efforts to endure all these, he would insult me, beat me, even in front of my mum on several occasions. But I endured becos as a father to my 3 young children he is father of the century so I kept saying it will be selfish for me to leave the marriage.
The kids need their daddy because he is a good father but I don't want him because he is not a good husband, he doesn't satisfy me in anyway... either in the bedroom or other dealings as couple. But I kept putting my kids needs first, to my own detriment.
The issue is...... when I celebrated my 40th birthday, my husband did not really care or plan to take me anywhere which did not bother me. Over the years, I have learnt to start focusing my joy on other things so I have been really happy. On the weekend of my bday, a male colleague at work invited me to lunch as a birthday treat and also thank me for being there when he was going through his divorce.
So I asked my husband if it was okay to go since this was on Saturday. He said its fine becos he knew the man and knows the guy was just a friend, so for the first time of my 10yrs marriage, I went out.
Surprising, when I came back, he started calling me all kinds of names. I was shocked becos he had never been that jealous - becos he believed no man was going to be interested in me as I have stopped taking care of myself. That nite he beat me up mercilessly and I decided enough was enough!
That day I moved out of the house. He never believed I could do that becos he knew how much I loved my kids..... but to his greatest shock I did it. It's been 5 months now since I left, and I can say my life has changed. I get help financially from family. But sadly, life for him has been miserable without a partner, a companion, someone to make me feel like a woman in the bedroom.
Now he too is crying everyday that he wants me to come back home. The kids want us to come back together. Strangely, now that I'm now even living with him, I see him more. He stopped going out and wants to spend all his spare time with me.
Am confused becos I kind of love my life right now; other 'good' men are already showing interest in me. I'm missing sex so so much and anything can happen. I am still young and very sexy. I know am not a saint in all these because I am stubborn with a bad mouth sometimes. Please I want peoples views on this.
Give me your candid opinion. How can I go back to a man who makes love to me violently (even thou I enjoy it sometimes)? I still feel irritated sometimes whenever I imagine him on me. Why cant I just remain a single mother?
What do I have to loose if I remain on my own? Please be sincere with me.
Things got so bad that I feel like crying whenever he wants to have sex with me because it would be brutal, as if it's a blue film. We dont do it often, but whenever he wants it, the thought of having sex with him was very irritating.
However, irrespective of my feelings, for peace sake, I'd do it sometimes half drunk. Despite my efforts to endure all these, he would insult me, beat me, even in front of my mum on several occasions. But I endured becos as a father to my 3 young children he is father of the century so I kept saying it will be selfish for me to leave the marriage.
The kids need their daddy because he is a good father but I don't want him because he is not a good husband, he doesn't satisfy me in anyway... either in the bedroom or other dealings as couple. But I kept putting my kids needs first, to my own detriment.
The issue is...... when I celebrated my 40th birthday, my husband did not really care or plan to take me anywhere which did not bother me. Over the years, I have learnt to start focusing my joy on other things so I have been really happy. On the weekend of my bday, a male colleague at work invited me to lunch as a birthday treat and also thank me for being there when he was going through his divorce.
So I asked my husband if it was okay to go since this was on Saturday. He said its fine becos he knew the man and knows the guy was just a friend, so for the first time of my 10yrs marriage, I went out.
Surprising, when I came back, he started calling me all kinds of names. I was shocked becos he had never been that jealous - becos he believed no man was going to be interested in me as I have stopped taking care of myself. That nite he beat me up mercilessly and I decided enough was enough!
That day I moved out of the house. He never believed I could do that becos he knew how much I loved my kids..... but to his greatest shock I did it. It's been 5 months now since I left, and I can say my life has changed. I get help financially from family. But sadly, life for him has been miserable without a partner, a companion, someone to make me feel like a woman in the bedroom.
Now he too is crying everyday that he wants me to come back home. The kids want us to come back together. Strangely, now that I'm now even living with him, I see him more. He stopped going out and wants to spend all his spare time with me.
Am confused becos I kind of love my life right now; other 'good' men are already showing interest in me. I'm missing sex so so much and anything can happen. I am still young and very sexy. I know am not a saint in all these because I am stubborn with a bad mouth sometimes. Please I want peoples views on this.
Give me your candid opinion. How can I go back to a man who makes love to me violently (even thou I enjoy it sometimes)? I still feel irritated sometimes whenever I imagine him on me. Why cant I just remain a single mother?
What do I have to loose if I remain on my own? Please be sincere with me.
My this is a decision that only u can take since u live with him and you know what he is capable of doing. But be careful not to be deceived twice. Amara
ReplyDeleteamara stop dat, she is married woman wt 3 kids.
DeleteHE'S LYING BY CLAIMING THAT HE MISSED U, HE JUST WANT MORE SEX AND WILL RETURN TO HIS OLD WAYS AGAIN. MS K
ReplyDeleteWomen always like to focus on men side, what about ur bad side? As far as am consigned u love sex too much and that is the problem, u are not telling us the truth.
ReplyDeleteI laff when I see all this lies that women lie about men... it seems one sugar daddy is shaking your head outside, just run back to ur husband b4 it's too late. Kalu
ReplyDeleteYour problem is that you have already built hatred in your heart against him and as a result you display coldness which also irritate the guy. If you want to enjoy your marriage just erase hatred, change your mindset and rebuild love. Prove to the man you want him and not just enduring his presence and you will be surprised at the result. Go back to your husband and kids as there are no better men out there!
ReplyDeletePresman
This is a good counsel dear.
DeleteBest advice so far. Any man who shown interest in you may only want to exploit your temporary freedom, taste your honeypot and dump you thereafter. Go back to your home and hubby. Don't let the likes of Amara deceive you.
DeleteTHESE IS GUD FOR.....PLSSS MORE SEX MAN
ReplyDeleteBoth of them are suffering from sex problems and need urgent help!
ReplyDeleteNonesense, rubbish, so what do you want the readers to do if at all this story is real. if the man irritates you or you are no longer happy, do you not know where the divorce court is.
ReplyDeleteAfter publicising your drama, will it make the problem go away, will you start to enjoy sex with him again.
As one person has said, there is 2 sides to a story, no smoke without fire...tell us what you did that made the man go off you and only use you to satisfy his needs. You did something and dont tell us you have been a loving caring wife.....no man just suddenly goes bad overnight, something triggered his behaviour..... tell us what you did and we will know what to tell you....but if you want to maintain that you are the victim or the innocent party, i will say carry go..... na only a mumu or a 2 day old baby will believe your story
I understand u, but mind u that there r no better man out there, d ones u think that r good wil soon change and bring out their true colour. I wil atleast say that God has given u children which is d main reason u married him, go back and take care of them, make them d source of ur joy. If u think u dnt love him again, just ignore him in d house and mind ur children. Xterbel.
ReplyDeleteHello Lady, i can say that you are not there for marriage because marriage is for better or worse. I can see that you love sex not marriage and you put this drama to see if readers will advice you to go back and enjoy your hot sex or to move with another man for sex. Lady my own advice is for you to go back and bear it or sit in your parents house o, becos if you go to another man, one problem will occure. From Onyeabuo
ReplyDeleteIt is a good story from you because is a one sided story, if he (Your Husband) say his side of story someone would know how he/she can really advice. But not withstanding for sake of the children and I want you to know someone changes everyday. since you said your early love he has not been doing that, that may a test from God. And frankly speaking you (yourself) must change you attitude, thank God as you said the fault is not from you. PLEASE GO BACK if you find out he has repented. If you marry anybody without get clearance (Divorce) from him.
ReplyDeleteHello Lady, From the look of things i can see that u love SEX so much but u are only pretending. I have an example or something similar to ur story, from my ex- girl friend who loves me so much that is never satisfied in bed because i don't beat her up b/4 making love to her, this she advice me to always do before making love to her and I refused but the moment i started beating her up believe me she started giving the best sex i never got from my past lovers. Please show it to your husband once u go back so that u can enjoy ur marriage because my ex-girl friend told me that it;s one of the best way a woman can enjoy a man as the man will beat her first and go violently to make love to the woman immediately. Most of us men knows this as we have experiences in love making. Please do not pretend over this b/cos is ur life and nobody owns it for u so live it to the fullest.
ReplyDeleteDr. Chris
Story story...Rubbish
ReplyDeleteSHE HAS NOT TOLD US THE WHOLE STORY...I shall be back
ReplyDelete#IsOkay
The devil you know is better than the angel you are anticipating. The bitter truth is that marriage is give and take and this is a man you have stayed with for couples of years and you should be able to know him and understand his behaviour. Be not deceived, What i can understand from your comments is that a man or guy outside there is showing fake affection towards you and you are already carried away with your imagination. How could on earth a married woman going out with u guy at the place of work on that important moment in one´s life because your man refused to be in that position. Do not search for any excuse to forsake your marriage of 10yrs. Go and sit down in your private and think and pray and God will direct you. and even tourch the heart of the said husband of yours.
ReplyDeleteSeek no advice from no man except the living God bcos the heart of man is full of hypocracy
woman go back 2 ur home, take care of ur kids if u love dem or u end up regretting.AU
ReplyDeleteu are 40 yrs n still acting as a kid.....u have kids n u stayed as much as 5 months outside ur matrimonial home.....n all u blab about is gud sex,irritating sex n all these trash....before both of u got married wer u not having sex?.....u better tell us d truth....who are u seeing outside ur matrimonial home?
ReplyDeletei am a yoruba man of ur age and there is a proverb in yoruba that says ile lati ko eso rode........if u want the best for ur kid plz go back to ur man coz of the future of ur kid,so that the life of kid will be like urs and u know kid take from both parent behavior,go home and change ur life.
ReplyDeleteMy advice 2u woman if na sex u want y can't u go do ashawo work so dat u ll get d sex u lik, bt if na ur husband n kids u lik patient iz d key.
ReplyDeleteMy dear watz beyond man is in d hands of God,man's wisdom is limited,Go 2 God in humility & total submissn & tell him 2 heal ur life & marriage & ask Him 4 divine wisdom 2 keep ur home
ReplyDeleteThis woman is aving sex outside aside is husband so she's trying to compare.u are not saying d true but I will tell u to go back to ur family before is to late cos all is pole u say are coming to mate u as nothing good 4 u dy will only av sex wit u in dat's wat u want.........u shuld be ashame of ursf,if u husband is doing something u dnt lik tell him nd stop saying all dat
ReplyDeleteHello my fellow lady,what do u think u are doing?U left ur home for five good months and u are enjoying it.I think u need God in ur life and marriage.Imagine going out with another man on ur birthday,thats absurd.I remember u told us that u are not all that perfect,thats step one knowing ur fault.My candid advice to u is to go home,amend ur ways,talk to ur husband about his behaviours u are not comfortable with in a polite manner,pray to God for peace in ur home and l know ur husband will as well change.For the sake of ur kids build ur home,let a virtous woman be seen in u.I think u have no excuse to abandon ur marriage of three kids from what u told us.There is no better man out there,make ur husband the bestman and be prayerful for devil comes to destroy.DON,T ALLOW DEVIL IN UR HOME.
ReplyDelete