The rising rate of infidelity between couples in Nigeria calls for worry as many marriages have been dissolved as a result of it. CHALYA DUL in this report examines reasons behind this ugly trend with emphasis on women.
Infidelity in marriage which is as old as life itself is a crime various society, religion and age frown at; and as a result, stringent measures are placed to curtail this act. In some societics, the penalty could be as stiff as death.
However, infidelity still strives leaving one to wonder why it has taken a form of legacy passed from one generation to the other.
Since the early 90s and with the advent of civilisation, it is almost becoming a norm. A lot of married women now have extra-marital affairs. Cheating among modern women is as common as it is among men, which is abstract and very different to what was in existence two decades ago when women were totally faithful, patient and more tolerating.
Different women give various reasons for their adulterous action, which majors on the need to satisfy their emotional demands.
Omobolanle (not real name) is a 30-year old married woman who said lack of attention from her husband made her seek for another man. “My husband is always travelling from one country to the other with little or no time for me. And even when he returns home, he seems to prefer watching television.
He will rather spend more time with younger women outside because he thinks I am too old and out of fashion now. I’ve exhausted every available avenue to make him see the emotional pains he is causing me to no avail. So I decided to seek attention from another man,” she admitted.
Anita, a mother of two admits to Omobolanle’s reason as a major factor for women’s infidel acts. She said: “Women cheat most times because they seek emotional connection, intimacy, and even friendship which most lack in their marriages.
Current research suggests that one in every five women has had an affair at one point or another, making that the highest rate in history. Some statistics show the percentage of women cheating is now equal to that of men cheating.
According to a new report by Durex, a condom manufacturing company, Nigerian women are ranked the most unfaithful with 62 percent. The report was carried out based on interviews with 29,000 people in 36 countries.
Tayo, a married man who confessed to LEADERSHIP WEEKEND of still having an affair with his ex-girlfriend who is also married said his ex-girlfriend told him out rightly when he demanded to know if she feels guilty cheating on her husband that she does not. “I don’t feel guilty and I don’t love my husband less. He handles all responsibilities accordingly; I only cheat for the sole purpose of having some fun,” she told him.
Martha, whose reason is not based on her husband’s failure to satisfy her emotional need, cheats on her husband because of his poor financial state.
“My husband doesn’t tell me how much he earns or how he spends his money. He doesn’t involve me in his finances. He doesn’t even care about how I make my hair or my other personal needs as a woman. For this reason, I sort support from other men who can afford to take care of me,” she admits.
The resultant effect of this unholy act is on the children who are left to bear the brunt. There is a growing psychological evidence that adulterous behaviour in parents dramatically affects children when they reach adulthood. Pam Gyang, a sociologist at the University of Jos spoke to LEADERSHIP WEEKEND on the effect of a cheating mother on their children. He said: “While we will not recommend that one stay forever in a loveless marriage.
Not only does it hurt the relationship, it has an adverse impact on family life, particularly if children are involved. When a mother is having an affair there is a different reaction in children because the mother is still most often considered the focus of the family and of course when the child learns of an affair, he or she is in a danger of losing confidence in the viability of marriage and family. It is advisable for a spouse to get in touch with a marriage counsellor if they think they are tempted to have an affair.”
There is no justification for a woman to cheat on her husband as it is a crime against humanity. It is nobler for a woman to call it quit with a troubled marriage and move on with her life than to remain in it and become a cheat.
Since the early 90s and with the advent of civilisation, it is almost becoming a norm. A lot of married women now have extra-marital affairs. Cheating among modern women is as common as it is among men, which is abstract and very different to what was in existence two decades ago when women were totally faithful, patient and more tolerating.
Different women give various reasons for their adulterous action, which majors on the need to satisfy their emotional demands.
Omobolanle (not real name) is a 30-year old married woman who said lack of attention from her husband made her seek for another man. “My husband is always travelling from one country to the other with little or no time for me. And even when he returns home, he seems to prefer watching television.
He will rather spend more time with younger women outside because he thinks I am too old and out of fashion now. I’ve exhausted every available avenue to make him see the emotional pains he is causing me to no avail. So I decided to seek attention from another man,” she admitted.
Anita, a mother of two admits to Omobolanle’s reason as a major factor for women’s infidel acts. She said: “Women cheat most times because they seek emotional connection, intimacy, and even friendship which most lack in their marriages.
Current research suggests that one in every five women has had an affair at one point or another, making that the highest rate in history. Some statistics show the percentage of women cheating is now equal to that of men cheating.
According to a new report by Durex, a condom manufacturing company, Nigerian women are ranked the most unfaithful with 62 percent. The report was carried out based on interviews with 29,000 people in 36 countries.
Tayo, a married man who confessed to LEADERSHIP WEEKEND of still having an affair with his ex-girlfriend who is also married said his ex-girlfriend told him out rightly when he demanded to know if she feels guilty cheating on her husband that she does not. “I don’t feel guilty and I don’t love my husband less. He handles all responsibilities accordingly; I only cheat for the sole purpose of having some fun,” she told him.
Martha, whose reason is not based on her husband’s failure to satisfy her emotional need, cheats on her husband because of his poor financial state.
“My husband doesn’t tell me how much he earns or how he spends his money. He doesn’t involve me in his finances. He doesn’t even care about how I make my hair or my other personal needs as a woman. For this reason, I sort support from other men who can afford to take care of me,” she admits.
The resultant effect of this unholy act is on the children who are left to bear the brunt. There is a growing psychological evidence that adulterous behaviour in parents dramatically affects children when they reach adulthood. Pam Gyang, a sociologist at the University of Jos spoke to LEADERSHIP WEEKEND on the effect of a cheating mother on their children. He said: “While we will not recommend that one stay forever in a loveless marriage.
Not only does it hurt the relationship, it has an adverse impact on family life, particularly if children are involved. When a mother is having an affair there is a different reaction in children because the mother is still most often considered the focus of the family and of course when the child learns of an affair, he or she is in a danger of losing confidence in the viability of marriage and family. It is advisable for a spouse to get in touch with a marriage counsellor if they think they are tempted to have an affair.”
There is no justification for a woman to cheat on her husband as it is a crime against humanity. It is nobler for a woman to call it quit with a troubled marriage and move on with her life than to remain in it and become a cheat.
IT'S VERY HARD TO FIND A GOOD WOMAN THESE DAYS, MANY ARE CHEAP AND GREEDY. BEN
ReplyDeletesame as it is hard to find a good man, they r all immature and don't know their responsibility
DeleteIt is the right of men to cheat? How many men today are faithful to their wives? mtscheww
ReplyDeleteDebby
Stolen pussies frm married women is the best!I fuck a lot of married women and they look so pitiful and sorry when I am having sex with them, exposing their complete nakedness to a total stranger and considering these bag of shits went into a church and made a promise to God for better for worse!
ReplyDeleteMarried men who sleep around look like shitty scums to me too!
oh and u who sleep with them ve all ur dignity??? eughhh
DeleteNigerian men are the worst cheat. What a man can do, a woman can do it better. Just cos our tradition suppport men to cheat does not mean it is right
ReplyDeleteyep very correct, they cheat n expect u to take them as they are y cant they take women as they r too if same happens
DeleteIn Africa men can marry more than one but women cant.
ReplyDeleteWomen should stop competing with men in this regards!!!
Does that make it right? Just cos tradition and culture support cheating from men. Why go marry in churches and not just do the civic wedding and forget it. Even nigeria constitution doesn't support cheatting
DeleteCHEATING ON A WOMAN IS DIFFERENT FROM MARRYING ANOTHER WIFE. IF YOU WANT TO MARRY, PLEASE DO, BUT WHEN YOU SLEEP WITH WHOEVER IS NOT YOUR WIFE, THEN YOU ARE A CHEAT. WHEN YOU HAVE A WIFE THAT CHEATS ON YOU, CHECK UP YOURSELF. IT TAKES A VERY STRONG REASON FOR A WOMAN TO CHEAT. IT IS MOSTLY CAUSED BY MEN'S MISMANAGEMENT. I AM A MAN, WE NEED TO BE FRANK!
ReplyDeleteHonestly,majority of cheating frm women is caused by greed and a compulsive love for money! They will badger a man who may not be ready into marriage,but when his finances begin to dwindle,they use that as an excuse to cheat. Sexual issues also causes women to cheat! If a woman can't get satisfaction or even enough attention frm her husband,she begins to dog around.
ReplyDeleteRevenge for a husbands infidelity with a younger woman is also anoda reason! Over all,men are the worst culprits in this disgracful behaviour.