20120914

My Fiancé Can't Satisfy Me With Sex; If We Get Married It May Not Last


I am dating a very nice guy, 4 years older than me. I am 28 years old. We were friends and knew each other for a period of time before deciding to become lovers. I moved from Abuja to be with him in Lagos and he got me a well paying job in a top business firm on the Island.

He later proposed to me earlier this year and I accepted because I love him and he is a good man. Now my problem is this, the SEX!!

Since we started being intimate and having sex, I have NEVER had an orgasm with him during penetration! He has never been able to make me climax with his penis. He keeps thrusting for more than 30 minutes and I just want him to get it over already and let me sleep. I have talked to him about it, and he even asks me after he ejaculates, if I came. I always say "almost did."

I am a VERY physical and sexual person, and I request sex twice a day (not mandatory). But I get horny A LOT! Sometimes he tells me he is not in the mood to go again. I know he cares about making me feel good and satisfy me, because anytime I tell him what direction/position I want, he listens and obeys. But I still can’t climax. I do love it though when he uses his fingers, I actually climax if it's his fingers but not his penis! And no his penis is not small or big. It is moderate and okay for me, I don't like huge tools that rip me open abeg.

He has some weight on him and a bit of what we call "pot belly." And sometimes that gets in the way, especially when I want to do it sitting down. His belly covers the tool so we always end up lying down. How do I tell him all this without bruising his ego?

I have been thinking if this how sex will be for the rest of my life? I want to know if I'm the only lady that can't have an orgasm?? Am I sick and lone in this?

59 comments:

  1. Say the truth were you once a prostitute who sleeps with different men every night?.... That's d reason many women don't enjoy their marriage as one man is no longer enough for them.... KUKU

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    1. you are so weird.Have you forgotten the last time i caught you with a prostitute?hissssssssss

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  2. How can u be proud having sex when u're not married? Some ladies are shameless o... *yinmu*
    BIOLA

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    1. Some guys are also shameless sleeping around like dogs.This is a public site and we should watch what we write...Bimbo

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  3. There is nothing like shame in some of these Ladies again ooooo. How can you be proud of having sex with your guy before marriage? You are if demanding 2x in a day. You need to control your sexual urge or it will lead you to be enlisted among societal ladies. May God save you on time. Ab 08024269684

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  4. I subscribe to the fact that you were once a prostitute. Since one man cant satisfy u get a doctor's help

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    1. i also subscribe to the fact that u patronise prostiutes that is why you can tel who is and who is not a prostitute.i will advise you stop sleep around

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  5. Yes, you shouldnt b proud of havin sex b4 marriage but dats nt d issue, mayb you should go see a doctor. There's no need hidin wot u feel cos u dnt want to bruise his ego, if u say it in a humble way, u knw him beta n should knw how 2 relate it wit him witout hurtn his pride. Its beta now dan avin a broken marriage.

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  6. The problem is not with your man but YOU!If you can‘t reach orgasm after being thrusted for 30 Minutes,for God‘s sake,how long will satisfy you??The problem is either medical or you don‘t love this guy as you claim!
    ADUNGAJNR.

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  7. She is being truthful please leave her alone kindly seek satisfaction and tell him the truth look for someone who can satisfy you I can offer a few phone numbers......

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  8. All of u criticising her, how many of u r married? and how many of u are stl virgins? either advice her on what 2 do or keep quite 4 heaven sake. u folks makes me sick!

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  9. Naija commentators with their shallow minds!!! anyway, back to the topic. Since you are able to reach orgasm whenever he uses his fingers, my advice would be both of you should practice foreplay b4 penetration. 80% of love making is actually foreplay because that stimulates all the nerves that are stressed or tensed in both parties. teach him the way you like to be caressed. just remember that no man has the complete package, something must always lack.

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  10. All I will say is that u should talk to home and better still get a vibrator so he can use both his own and dat well all ladies use it now ah days

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    Replies
    1. Not because your babe,sisters uses vibrator doesnot mean that everybody is as cheap as them.You can buy and send to ur babe or any of your sisters as a gift to them.Muyiwa

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  11. All I will say is that u should talk to home and better still get a vibrator so he can use both his own and dat well all ladies use it now ah days

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  12. Girl........30mins of fucking and u non come?!!!! dt guy is Good..Now kindly try ds, tell him to use hs tools & same time hs fingers touching ur kts moving left, right. if you dont call his name after 10mins.....you guys should fine the rigt position 4 you...30mins with mi & my girl OMG she wud pass out comlxng!!! kfil

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  13. Imagine a lady who is not married looking for good sex, she's so stupid.... Kalu

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  14. Lady let me be candid to you.You demanded to know if you were sick,yes,you are sick.For you to fuck for 30minutes is more than enough time for you to enjoy sexy and come as many times as you may want.Do you want the man to die simply because he wants to meet your sexual need?
    Your number problem is that you have a secret fantasy for someone else whom you think would be more sexually superb ,may be a man with a flat belly and of all that and you are opting for excuse to double date.
    Secondly,sex is an art of the mind.Once your mind is there ,you will enjoy it.It seems your mind is not always there.
    Also,your problem is not that the man does not satisfy you rather you want to experiment on sex and position base on what you read in love books and blue films.Please,forget that and be contented with your man's ability.He can finger you for with his hands for 40minutes since it makes you feel good and after 40minutes,he insert his dick and struck you for additional 30minutes making almost 1hour and more,within this period,you will come as many as possible.Austin

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    Replies
    1. Someone asked a question and you guys are insulting her.most guys are weak and they dont know how to satisfy a lady even if the stay 30 mins,its not about the time but reaching orgasm.Babe,except u can cope with it but if you cant cope please donot marry him.

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  15. Why will you agree to marry him when you know he cant satisfy you sexuallly.You have a very big problem which is you want a perfect man and a perfect relationship,most girls cant be satisfied and they forget that nobody has it all..........

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  16. Prevention is better dan cure. Benkada

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  17. Prevention is better dan cure. Benkada

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  18. well my friend it a pity thet u have to feel thet way but let me tell u i was like u before i have never enjoyed sex before but i like it wen i need it but no feelings at all. but u no one thing today i can tell u now thet i enjoyed making love very well wit my man now all u need to do is let your mind been their always tell him how u wont it and then condition your mind to him alone and i bet u u will enjoy wit him and u will see yoursf getting to ur orgasm. and pls let him go and marry u very well in the church or traditional marriage before u can be looking for good sex it must be ur husband and not just a common boyfriend who ur not too sure if he will marry u 2mro.

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  19. My sister i like your courage and the love for the guy. The best for u and him is a tough fore play before penetration. (to me i prefer it to sex.)When u sense your coming he can now penetrate.

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  20. First of all, all those of you including men, criticizing this lady, if you did not marry as a Virgin, just SHUT UP!!! Meanwhile,thrusting in and out of a woman for 30 mins does not make a man good at sex/making love. You have to play with your woman(foul play) so that she becomes very wet and properly aroused, as well as romance her. Now my advise to you dear is to tell him politely, show him how you want to be touched, my sex/romance movies which you think might work for you and watch it with him. I hope this helps dear.

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  21. You are a cheap girl. How can u be living wit a man that is not yet ur husband? Where are ur parents?.... Mrs OJ

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  22. YOU ARE A SPOILT WOMAN AND YOU SHOULD BE ASHAME OF YOURSELF

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    1. And you are a shameless fool,mugu and senseless idiot...Tony

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  23. In addition to all said, tell him to use his tongue a lot on your clitoris. It works wonders.

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  24. The only question i will ask is ,do you know how many marriages in Nigeria that are lacking sexual satisfaction? Marriage is not just for sex,is more than that ,infact sex is just like half of what marriage is all about,if sex is all about marriage then almost all marriages in Nigeria will be disolved by now,our culture and religous believe has made our men who they are,infact our forefathers never parctise foreplay so who will they take it from,our mothers only just have sex to reproduce children so where do you want to see kissing and romancing,so pls my dear just bear whatever you can and get married,this days we have vibrators,maybe you shd get one bcos your man will only continue to jack up and down the hole ,as long as he gets the sensation is not his business how u feel ,infact to him ,u are made to make him enjoy sex,you have no right to enjoy sex,you are just a hole or passage so bear it and move on,life goes on

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    1. is that what u think,sorry far frm that we are in a modern world both partiies are mean't to enjoy sex except OTHERWISE! u are trading wit ur own dear!

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  25. De prblem is 4rm u n nt ur guy, bring ur mind hme wen makin luv wit him n stop beliving dat he wun't satisfy u, sex for 30min at a go is enuf 4 u 2 reach orgasm. Dn't mind al dos pretenders dat critised u ok!

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  26. sorry my sister, what u're asking for is important to a woman so dôn't make a mistake of going in to marriage like that , why i say so is that i don't want a sitiation where by she will be going out for satisfaction. Dauda Josh Kuulpam on fb.

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  27. soWiE.... FoLlOw mE uP oN tWiTtEr @ Primer Dios

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  28. Please lets be moderate in our comments, though everybody has freedom of expression, but lets look at the issues, she said she cant climax up to orgasm during sex, which is the sexual satisfaction in female... that means she is not enjoying her Sexual life..... The Post is Clear, Look at the Last Part of the Post

    "I have been thinking if this how sex will be for the rest of my life? I want to know if I'm the only lady that can't have an orgasm?? Am I sick and lone in this?"

    My advice is that you should seek an Advice from a Medical Practitioner or an Expert in Sexual related Issues......." I feel its a Medical Problem from You, or you are been hunted by psychological issues.......

    Please Leave the Man alone, He is not your Problem... The Man has done his own part, the rest is now left for you to do.... If your man can Thrust You for 30mins, the he has tried he own possible best......... Win

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  29. I think u are confuse on ur sexuality.

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  30. Don't mind them jare,someone asked a question and they are insulting the gal.How many of them is innocent.Shameless fool insulting an innocent babe that asked a question.This is why Nigeria is still under developed cos we have so many idiots who donot think before they talk.Paul

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  31. U must teach him in order 2 enjoy urself.Buy books,videos and let him understand that he's d best,but remain small.

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  32. U must teach him in order 2 enjoy urself.Buy books,videos and let him understand that he's d best,but remain small.

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  33. That's what Life Turns tO Today......If d guy met u virgin & nd He too is a virgin both of u wil enjoy each other no matter ao big or small d guy's penis bt u hav tasted mny that's y u complain. God wil tak control in ur lyf sha.

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  34. That's what Life Turns tO Today......If d guy met u virgin & nd He too is a virgin both of u wil enjoy each other no matter ao big or small d guy's penis bt u hav tasted mny that's y u complain. God wil tak control in ur lyf sha.

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  35. that's a challeng most ladies are facing nowadays, you have a high sex drive or libido. It takes God to overcome this it. You guys should get married first and believe me God will perfect the rest thing. I'm a living proof. Good luck! Iyke

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  36. Were you once a prostitute? The tryth is, u were shameless to hv sex before marriage. You need deliverance. Richard, 08036324090

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  37. Story story time.... do you people need half a brain cell to decipher the story that it is made up.

    they knew for a while before becoming lovers.

    so they have been lovers and fucking each other before he proposed and she accepted. while they were fucking, did she not know the sex was not good, so why accept and now come here with a made up story that the sex is not good.

    The day some nigerians actually start to read between the lines wonders go happen.

    instead una don read fiction dey curse, insult or give advice, while Olu dey look una and laugh

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  38. That's what Life Turns tO Today......If d guy met u virgin & nd He too is a virgin both of u wil enjoy each other no matter ao big or small d guy's penis bt u hav tasted mny that's y u complain. God wil tak control in ur lyf sha.

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  39. Folks,

    Folks that call this woman names are so ignorant. If you think woman sexual satisfaction is secondary then you better take your impotent dick and look for one "log of wood" woman to marry/date.

    30 mins of good sex is not a big deal (not just in and out, Paraga or Alomo induced sex), it is even minimum for many I know. It shd be a man joy and pride to satisfy his woman and take her to that end of the cloud call climax....at all time if possible.

    Young lady, sex in marriage is very important. If you are not feeling it then don't do it. Lack of sexual fulfilment in marriage leads to infidelity and hence divorce. The essence of marriage is not for procreation only but to satisfy one another in that department.Get it, otherwise you will end been miserable and more like "glorified babysitter" with just a wife or Mrs. title to your name.

    Note also that you CANNOT change a man sexual orientation after his formative years, if he does not get it right at age 32, then he can never get it right!!!

    To some Mother Teresa wannabe here piling on 28 years old woman having sex as bad thing, I guess you are from Mars or one remote island village. What do you want the grown up ass woman @ 28 to do? Strap-up her pussy and be singing Holy Holy Holy, when hormones and nature is tearing her apart to do "something"? Please get real.

    o those who agree with me or on the fence, enjoy this music. Here is the link...... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o

    Shikena.

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  40. Two things I can think of;either you used to be a prostitude and have fucked plenty men and can not be satisfy by only one dick or you have some lesbian tendancy in your body.Go see a doctors to see what the problem is because fucking you for thirty minutes without discharge is very strange and rare.House wife is not for every woman as no body can turn a prostitude into a house wife.Good luck

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  41. Your story sound like one of those woman who can not be satisfy with men's penis.I suggest you go have sex with a horse to get your satisfaction and will end up like the lady in Benin City who was pregnant for a horse and delivered a horse baby at the church.Good luck to you.

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  42. I KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS, COME TO ME I WILL TAKE YOU TO THE HIGHEST STAGE OF ORGASM AND CLIMAX, I HAVE ELEVEN INCHES SIZE OF PENIS, I AM VERY SKILFUL IN TERMS OF SEX I FEELS HORNY SO MUCH. COME TO ME YOUR PROBLEMS WILL BE SOLVED AND SOLVED FOREVER. THANKS.

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    Replies
    1. Na wa ooooo, so you think your 11 inches penise is the solution to the girls problem.

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  43. It is obvious you and the guy love each other but you are not sexually compatible. I will advice that you tell the guy how you feel honestly so you can both find a way to enable you meet at a point (a middle point, both of you will need to compromise on some things and make some sacrifices to make this work). You are sexually hot but the guy is just lukewarm so you need to make things work; if possible, I will advice you both see a marriage/relationship counsellor; they will be in a better position to guide. If after everything things don't change, please don't bother to go ahead with the marriage because it will lead to a divorce because sexual incompatibility is one of the greatest factors that breaks up marriages (after financial problems). I am not an advocate of pre-marital sex but I am happy you are discovered this before venturing into the marriage. God will give you the wisdom to handle the situation.

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  44. The simple true is teach your man what you want from him. No man is sexually complete. My wife decision matter most in bed and I equally tell her what I want. Communication is what both lack here. Ab - 08024269684

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  45. Wait o all dis pple giving der phone nomba is it 4 wot.? #SMH#. Well cutting the story short wot you are discussing with us here shld be wot you shld be discussing with a medical practioner. He would giv you the ryt answer. You nid to go with him too.

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  46. Olu have we not read this story in another guise.."my husband can't satisfy me aymore...........why you recycle it and add this twist to it.

    how will you recycle it in 2 months........ my lover wcan't satisfy me. so i dey go ack to my husband.

    desperate man

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  47. IF you don't know how to advice ppl, why don't u just keep ur crazy mouth shut, some poeple here are fools...... She may even be better than some of u commenting here.......... Parsley.

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